Product review

Llama-licious?

For people who don’t know about Fortnite Battle Royale I have written a quick introduction. If you don’t like Fortnite don’t worry we will get onto why this is actually a blog about food and travel very quickly but you do need to know a little bit. If you do like Fortnite you are my best friend and you will love the food story which is coming.

Fortnite is an online multiplayer game where you dive straight into the Fortnite island, get eliminations and try to get a victory royale (that just means a win) by being the last one standing. Other contestants try to kill you and you try to kill them but its cartoony not scary violent.   

I like Fortnite because of the crossplay privileges. Crossplay is the ability to play an online game with other people who can be playing on other platforms (that means different sorts of game runners; Xbox, PlayStation 4, PC, Nintendo Switch and Android phones).

Fortnite is divided into seasons and each season has a theme. Up until 12 oçlock tonight we are in season 8. At the moment there is so much hype around Fortnite season 9 because as of today when I am writing this (May 8) it is starting tomorrow. I am very excited and am looking forward to it! There are lots of theories but we won’t know for certain until the clock strikes midnight. 

So, I thought that now would be the perfect time for a blog about Fortnite. But how to make Fortnite and food and travel go together? The answer is llamas! In Fortnite there are 3 llamas in every game which hold loot. There are different categories of loot (common, uncommon, rare, epic, legendary and mythical). Loot upgrades your weapon power and makes it easier eliminate others. The llamas look more like piñata llamas from parties than the real animal.

The real deal.

There is a nice way and a harsh way to open them. The nice way is to go up to it and search it manually and then it will explode and drop the loot. Or you can take out your harvesting tool and smash it. Hit it repeatedly. Not the nice way. When I find a llama, I feel mean to just smash it so I like to use the nice way.

Ready for a beating?

Last year my mum went to a food conference in Italy where there were people from all over the world. She met a person who was selling dried llama meat.

Selling Llama.

She bought me a packet. Dried salted llama meat is called charki. I looked on Wikipedia and it said it is very ancient and that when the Spanish conquistadors first met the Inca people they used to dry their charki in the cold dry mountain air and strong sun and it was used when you went on long journeys.

Lets go Llama!

In Fortnite it is both very rare and very lucky to find a llama. This is even more true of packets of dried llama meat in South Africa. I think I have the only bag! Now enough talking let’s get eating!!! Let the taste test begin.

GGGRRR!!

I opened the packet and it looked appealing so it gets points for that but then I smelt it. Llama smells sort of like wet dog.

HHMMM…Doggy?

Then I tasted it. It tastes like I imagine a salty wet dog would taste. And a bit soapy. Sort of like you think  a dog would taste after it has had a bath.

Interesting…

The funny thing is what I am saying makes it sound like it tastes bad but it doesn’t taste bad. Just interesting. A bit like biltong but flakier. It was a bit fatty too – like if it were quite a fat dog like maybe dried Labrador crossed with an office chair for a sort of leathery feel.

I am glad I have tasted it but I don’t think I will eat llama again.

Conga emote!

7 comments to “Llama-licious?”

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  1. Your blogging skill has grown in leaps and bounds! Love this blog. I hope to try some charki at some stage and give you feedback. 😊

  2. I read your blog carefully and after all, I think I will stick to beef biltong, but thanks for letting me know that there are alternatives if I get bored of beef biltong and feel like something wet doggish

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